Got Twinkies?

It is Saturday, and my DH is away at a football game. I should be catching up on household chores long neglected, but instead I took a long luxurious nap in my recliner. I never sleep so well as when I plop into my magic La-Z-Boy and flip the lever. Add one ultra-soft throw to warm my body and one lap-whore feline companion to warm my heart, and a deep sleep is the inevitable result.

I awoke just before noon feeling lazy and oh-so-relaxed, and more than just a little guilty. I felt guiltier still when I had to jettison the cat from my lap in favor of a trip to the bathroom.

My life as a rural hausfrau affords me little to write about. The truth is that my life is BORING. Even I am bored by it, so how can others NOT be bored?

I often wonder how others perceive me. If they think I'm weird or stupid or that I laugh too loud, etc., etc., they are likely too polite to tell me. On the other hand, if they think I'm amusing or interesting, would they think it important enough to say so? How exactly is a person to know? Asking is not cool, because it is usually viewed as fishing for compliments. Besides, people won't usually say bad stuff to your face.

It ought to be a rule that others are required to advise you of how you are generally regarded. If the info is embarrassing or disappointing, at least one would have a chance to adjust as necessary. But it is the affirmative responses that are most valuable, since it helps us to feel more confident about ourselves.

I don't know about everyone else, but those rare and elusive positive strokes make me better able to deal with life's shit-filled Twinkies. You know what those are, right? That's when something GOOD is compromised by something BAD. For instance, "Gorgeous dress, Marge, but it's rather tight, isn't it?" or "Nice report, James, but your spelling sucks." (My mother could deal out the stinkiest Twinkies ever without batting an eye, all in the name of "helping". Arrrgh.) Get the idea? This same principle can be observed in many everyday events, like a perfect commute to work . . . except for the part where you got a speeding ticket. Everything was grand up to that point, and -- whoosh -- the air was sucked out of your sails as surely as if God himself was pointing a giant Hoover at you. They happen to us all, in varying degrees, life's ups and downs. The trick is learning to recognize which ones are important enough to put a twist in your knickers.

Some days, it's not the SIZE of the "Twinkies", it's the sheer number. You know, a colossal pile of dumb little things gone wrong.

Other days, a single mega-Twinkie will ruin your entire week, if not screw up the entire rest of your LIFE. These are the BIG things, like learning that your spouse is cheating, or the death of someone dear to you.

Okay, so now you know the truth about Twinkies. Bet you never eat another one without at least thinking of this :-) I know I can't. Besides, I don't eat anything with a shelf-life longer than my own.