Fools & Money

Apt beginning.

My husband and I are fools. Huge. When it comes to money, we are hapless and hopeless. How the hell did we come to this? My husband was forced to retire this year, after 45 years of service. Reorganization. Common these days. The old guys get bumped in favor of the young. Not that the company wasn't generous enough, but the buy-out package will not get us out of debt. No, we were counting on our 401(k) account to do that. We were going to use it to continue to pay off our credit cards after the paychecks stop. We're seeing our savings lose value on a daily basis, and have NO idea what to do to stop the bleeding. Do we cash it out and lose all chance of recovery? Do we leave it and risk losing it all? Damn . . . talk about the proverbial rock and hard place. I can tell you it is a VERY tight squeeze.

So, now what? Both of us are too old to get jobs other than as Wal-Mart greeters or pushing burgers at a local fast food joint. Neither option has much appeal. Things around here have been pretty gloomy.

Part of me is angry. I am angry at myself for my willful contributions to our indebtedness over the years -- credit cards are so EASY to use -- but I am also angry at the credit card companies for being so GREEDY. Credit cards are clever traps, designed to suck people in and never let them go, something most people do not come to appreciate until it is already too late. Like us. It never seemed important before. We always made our payments on time, and usually more than the minimum due, but all of a sudden it is WAY too little WAY too late.

My grandmother had a rustic wall-hanging that said, "Too zoon oldt, Too late schmart." Boy, ain't that the truth.

So, what to do? Probably bankruptcy. Not right away, but as I consider our options (few), it looms large in my thoughts. Five years ago, I would have called you crazy if you'd said we were headed in that direction, but now I see. Ah, the clarity of hindsight . . . .

I'm not trying to justify our situation. It is our own fault, and no one else's, but our future is looking rather grim, and it takes a toll on me emotionally and psychologically. For what it is worth, I have resolved to not expect, want or ask for more; to conserve and preserve what we already have; and to do so with a modicum of good cheer. I taught my children to take responsibility for their own actions. Now it is time for me to walk the walk.

At this point, I'll be happy if we don't end up living in a cardboard box.